Roran High School Host Club
by Saki Hanajima x
Summary: Roran High School is not the typical high school many attend. There, rich girls, some of whom have special powers, entertain equally brilliant, idle boys who are also hot.
1. Whoa!

**Ok..so I don't know where this is going..it's very unusual and many of the characters may sometimes relate to who they really are in the anime but other than that they are totally different. Disclaimer: I do not own any of this.**

Temari: You parasite! How could you?!

Rin: Just like that *_leans over and asks Ino_ "What did I do this time?" *

Hana: Huh?? What the hell she's wailing on about?

Temari: How could you put your left foot first? And your hand's supposed to be up and not to the side.

Hana: You got to be kidding me *_sweat drop, lines_*

Rin: Gimme a minute *_demonstrates_* I write with this hand so this other one is the left…So the foot on this side must be…[ding!] *_light bulb goes off_*

Yourichi: *_Rolls her eyes_* Freaks.

Rin: You talking about me? *_Clenches fist, eyebrows twitch_*

Yourichi: I didn't say anything.

Rin: Yes you did…

Temari: *_Jumps in front of Rin and draws a fan dotted with three purple stars_* **I'm your opponent!**

Rin: What a scary weapon, are you going to blow me away?...By the way, Shikamaru says I'm a marvelous dancer, much better than you.

Temari: You danced with Shikamaru? **MY **Shikamaru?!

Rin: Of course not. **MY **Shikamaru.

Temari: When?

Rin: Last night

Ino: To be exact, at approximately 10:30 pm.

Temari: Where? *_face gets pink_*

Rin: Someplace *_looks away from Temari_*

Ino: That place being his summer house, according to my records *_pulls out a folder_*

Rin: What the hell?! Stalker! Get away *_Runs behind Hana_*

Temari: Stop trying to change the topic!

Rin: What were we talking about again?

Temari: **MY **Shikamaru and how you danced with **MY** Shikamaru and what a backstabber you are. Right Sakura…Sakura?

* _Screaming from the hall. Muffled screams, several bangs*_

Rin: My guess, she's out there.

Hana: There's that tiny outburst of strength again.

_* Everyone walks into the hall, stops and stares at the…Garden?*_

Yourichi: So, I see she's broken the wall AGAIN.

Ino: That's gonna cost us *_pulls out a calculator_* So lets see, you carry the one and then…um…our loss is…I've got it, when I punch the numbers into the calculator, the answer pops up! *_smiles brilliantly_*

Everyone: * _Stares at her, SWEAT DROP_*

Hana: Why did we ever make her treasurer?

Ino: Because I'm gorgeous! Oh and Sakura, you've gotta work three hours over time every day for a week to compensate for our losses.

Sakura: Yay! More Kabuto! *_pulls out mirror and makeup and prettifies_*

Rim: You talking about **MY **Kabuto!

Sakura: You don't have a Kabuto!

Rin: *_Throws a fragment of broken wall at Sakura*_

Sakura: *_Dodges*_

Temari: Hello, what about the parasite whose leeching off of **MY **Shikamaru.

Shikamaru: * _Groans in agony*_

Rin: *_Points at Shikamaru and herself_* HE asked ME out.

Temari: What?! It's a pity he's unconscious, Sakura you ruin everything! * _storms out of room and is careful to stomp on Shikamaru hands*_

Rin: Glad to see she's in a good mood again.

Sakura: I SAID you DON'T have a Kabuto!

Rin: Oh, that, I just got lost in the argument, I don't want Kabuto. That's unthinkable, He's such an obnoxious, know it all…*_rambles on and on about Kabuto_*…He and **that **Sasuke.

Hana: Hn, you can say that again

* _Everyone glares at Rin and Hana*_

Sakura: * _Clenches fist and cracks knuckles_* Don't…You…ever…insult…Sasuke…in…front…of…me!!!

* _throws a punch at Rin*_

Rin: * _Dodges*_

Sakura: _* Hits the wall and breaks it*_

Ino: Sakura, you have such a bad aim, this is how it's done _* punches Hana and slams her into the wall*_

Rin: At this rate, the whole school will crumble. Yay!

Hana: That hurts*_glares at Ino, electric sparks_*

Rin: Hana, stop, she's not worth it! *_drags Hana away from them and whispers_ "those two are meant for each other, they **DO **deserve Sasuke"*

Yourichi: Well everybody, I'll say that went well. * _Totally clueless*_

Everyone: * _LINES, SWEAT DROP_*

**Hope You guys like this..feel free to review..still don't know where it's going..this is for my bestest friends.**


	2. Yay! Purple, RHSHC holiday!

**So this is the second chapter my friends and I wrote…U know who u are ; ) …. Hope u like it... As I said… we have no clue where this is going.. It's just plain Humour! Disclaimer: I don't own this**

Kakashi: I Just Love you Kabuto, the amount I save on birthday presents for you, by the end of your lifetime, I'll be a Millionaire… although, if I keep designating Sakura, I'll be broke by the end of the week.

Kabuto: Speaking of Sakura…. Oh, there's Aidou!

Aidou: *_Pretends not to notice them and walks away *_

Kha and Kab: _* LINES *_

Kakashi: It can't be, he's not avoiding us, is he?

Kabuto: No way, he just didn't see us, yeah that's why.

Kakashi: Well, if that's the case, he's been NOT SEEING us a lot lately… maybe he needs glasses.

Kabuto: Maybe I can lend him mine… Anyway, we'll see him in class.

_*IN CLASS*_

_* Everyone talking, Kakashi and Kabuto are waiting for Aidou to come- class starts, NO AIDOU *_

Kakashi: Where is he? Did he ditch!

Kabuto: No way, he didn't invite me! We're supposed to ditch TOGETHER, see ya Kakashi!

Kiba: I'm going too!

Kakashi: Uh…Hey wait up! *_ gets up to leave*_

_* Teacher enters classroom*_

Kakashi: _* Exasperated*_ some friends! Kabuto's always running away from me.

_* After class*_

Kakashi: Forget them, I'll just go make myself at home at the host club instead… with Rin today for a change… I'm a little tired of Sakura right now _* enters the host club, sees Aidou with Hana*_ Hey Aidou, this is where you've been all period??

Aidou: _* Hurries away*_

Kakashi: He's gotta get those glasses!

_* Everyone looks at Kakashi Evilly*_

Rin: So, you're here, welcome. So, who do you want today?

Kakashi: _* Closes book*_ you, of course!

Rin: _* Smiles brilliantly, bats eyelashes* _ Kashi-chan, can you do me a favour first?

Kakashi: It'll be my pleasure.

Rin: _* Pulls out a long list of chores*_ This is what I want you to do.

Kakashi: _* Jaw drops, sweat drop*_

Sakura: Oh, here are my 5 lists as well.

_* Everyone gives Kakashi a list*_

Kakashi: All of this?! What am I?!

Rin: Oh, come on, can't you do this small little favour for us? _* Puppy dog eyes*_

Kakashi: _* Falls victim to puppy dog eyes, smiles*_ Sure.

Rin: By the way, when you come back, I have something for you _* holds up Nigel R Khan bag*_

Kakashi: _* Eyes open wide, hands shake*_ I luv the host club! They always do things to make sure their customers are happy. _* Skips out the doorway *_

Sakura: They THINK we exist for THEIR happiness…

Hana: … But THEY exist for OUR Happiness.

Rin: Actually, they KNOW our happiness is their happiness.

_* One hour later*_

Rin: Aah it's a big bag monster coming to attack us!

_* Kakashi emerges from amidst the bags, drops to the floor*_

Kakashi: Water…please…thirsty.

Ino: _* Gives him a bottle of water*_

Kakashi; I'm exhausted, drop dead tired.

Rin: I can point you to my bed!

Sakura: _* Clenches fist, glares at Rin with pure venom*_

Rin: What? I'm just trying to be helpful.

_* Suddenly the door opens, Kabuto and Kiba enter, Kakashi suddenly regains energy*_

Kiba: Hey Kakashi, you've been here with the entire host club at your disposal… NO FAIR!

Kakashi: That's what you get for ditching me _* grins*_

Kabuto: Huh, you've had them ALL to yourself.

Sakura: _* Wickedly grins*_ So, Kakashi, did u bought that dress for Hana?

Kakashi: Huh _* thinks_, "Sakura, you're so mean!"* Yeah I did.

Sakura: The Lavender one?

Kakashia: _* Alert* _No, I bought Periwinkle! OMG what a terrible mistake! I'm so sorry _* grovels at their feet*_

Kiba: What's Lavender and Periwinkle, girls from Harry Potter?

Kabuto: I THINK there colours.

_* Rin and Sakura giggles*_

Ino: What's with you guys?

Rin: _* Smiles*_ Well… we thought since Kakashi worked so hard…

Sakura: … We'd give him a reward.

Kakashi: Oh yeah, the book.

Kiba: Forget the book… hello, we're customers.

Hana: Hello _* mocks him*_ It's a day off!

Kabuto: So why's Kakashi here?!

Rin and Sakura: He's a special customer.

Ino: _* Throws them out*_

Temari: _* Clueless*_ So what's the reward?

Rin: _* Turns Kakashi to face her_* how about a kiss…

Sakura: … Without your mask.

Ino: From each of us _* grins*_

Kakashi: _* Falls off chair*_ Really! _* thinks for a little while_* That wouldn't be fair, it's your day off!

Rin: Ooh, you're so thoughtful, you really deserve that kiss, at least one… from ME.

Sakura: * _Pulls Rin aside*_ I thought we were ALL going to kiss him?

Rin: I thought we're just supposed to do WHATEVER it takes to get him to take it off.

Yoruichi: * _Suddenly looks interested*_ WHAT did you just say, who take what off? WHATEVER IT TAKES. Whee!

Hana: Don't get so excited, they're talking about getting Kakashi to take his mask off you PERVERT.

Yoruichi: *_ Bored_* Oh, that's what you idiots are trying to do, I'm not really interested in seeing his face but I'm bored so I'll help you.

Hana; Well, I might as well join too.

Rin: So lets start MISSION GET KAKASHI TO TAKE HIS MASK OFF.

Hana: What a stupid name! Let's start MISSION AKAKU!

Rin and Skaura: No! How about MISSION AOI!

Rin: That's that MISSION AOI. I say so, no questions, deal with it * _glares at everyone*_

Temari: Why oppose her, she's so annoyingly stubborn.

Ino: What's Mission Aoi again? * _Clueless*_

Rin and Sakura: _* Hit her with two dictionaries*_

Ino: Ouch! What did I do * _rubs head*_

Everyone: _* Sweat drop, lines*_

Rin: Sakura, you take him from the back and I'll ambush him from the front. This is SERIOUS!

Sakura: Got it, so let's go over the strategy one more time.

_* Sakura mashes up floor*_

* Kakashi jumps to avoid becoming Kakashicake*

* Rin grabs him from behind and tickles him*

* Kakashi escapes, gasping for breath, disappears*

_* Kakasi is hiding behind 144 inch TV, is an idiot, pulls out book Rin gave him and starts to read, thinks_, " that was a close one" _is distracted by book_, " Ooh that's a new one, better take note." *

_* All the girls are confused wondering where he has disappeared to*_

Rin: Oh poo, we were having so much fun.

Sakura: Then he had to leave * _sighs and pouts*_

Hana: Well better luck next time… let's close up…

Everyone: Yea, sure.

_* Everyone exits the room and Kakashi is left behind unaware of what is happening around him, still reading the book*_

_* One hour later*_

Kakashi: _* Closes book*_ Ah...That was a good one...so much drama…*_ sighs* _Well then.. I should go home now _* looks up and notices the room is empty and somewhat dark*_ Ammm…girls???

_* On the outside... a scream is heard_ , " Anyone, help?!." *

**So, here is the end of this chapter… did you all liked it? I hope so… feel free to Review it.. Ro, Bhav, this is for you guys! Mwah!**


	3. It's getting hot in here

So pplz..This is the third chapter..sorry it took so long..my frens and I had a lot of catching up to do..so..first day of skool..we decided to write this chapter..i know! We hav nutting good to do!lol.. We were bored..so yeah..here it is..

The monday after Kakashi was locked in the host club's room over the weekend:

Kakashi: * Groans in agony, stomach grumbles, back on the floor* I need food…You'd think a club like this will have food but damn…these girls don't eat at all! * Around him, two packets of empty granola bars lies on the floor*

*Jingling of keys and opening of a door is heard, all the girls of the host club enters and spots Kakashi on the floor*

Rin: Hi there! How did you get in?!* gasps* you became a stalker now?!

Kakashi: * stutters and is on the brink of a blackout * Food...now…

Sakura: Rin, your such an idiot… isn't it a bit obvious that he was here over the weekend...hn...must've got locked in.

Hana: HAha! Well that's pretty stupid…considering he's the oh so great Hatake Kakashi! You'd think he's so great that he might actually find a way out of here… I guess he was just a hopeless case.

Rin: Awww…Hana! Don't say that! You poor thing… let me help you up…but first…

Everyone: Let's have a look under that mask! * Grins evilly*

Kakashi: * Eyes open wide, suddenly regains energy* No thanks! I'm good! Thanks for opening the door for me! * Runs away in a flash*

Yoruichi: There he goes again.

Temari: He sure has a lot of energy for someone who hasn't had food in a while.

Rin:* Pouts and whine*Mannnn! I thought we could have at least gotten a peek!

Sakura: Oh well… this sure is a never ending mission. Let's get to work gals.

*Two hours later*

Temari: *sighs*Where's Ino??

Sakura: That little piggy went to market

Rin and Hana: * Both are singing 99 red balloons and are pretty off…well no....very off*

Yoruichi: What the hell's wrong with you two?

Rin: Aaaah, I blew up the TV!

Hana: You idiot, how the hell did you do that?! I thought only I was capable of that?

Rin: Who cares now, the point is, it happened and now there's a fire and its spreading!

Sakura: * Lazily turns page of her book* Your singing probably caused it.

Rin and Hana: Somebody help us!

Yoruichi: * Yawns* I'm going home.

Sakura: Bye

Rin: See ya

Hana: Talk to you later!

* Everyone forgets about the fire*

Rin: Is it me or is it hot in here?

Hana: You're on fire, and I didn't do it!

Rin: Aaaahhhhh! * runs around helplessly, thinks,' what was it again??...hmm...is it drop and drool? Or was it run and wiggle your toes? That doesn't make sense!' Alert! 'What the hell?! I'm on fire Idiot! No time to think!'

Temari: You idiots, I'll show you how it's done * pulls out fan and does her magic*

Rin: Aaaah, It's getting bigger, it's following me, stalker.

Sakura: * Is still reading book* Correction, hot stalker.

Rin and Temari: Shikamaru, really, where?

Sakura: * Goes into GIBBS mode: Taps them with the book*

Hana: You're all idiots * points to Temari* and you're the biggest one!

Sakura: * Talks to herself* You'd figure someone would call the fire fighters by now * sighs*

Temari: * Watches Rin* at least I turn the temperature hotter

Rin: And I'm burning up, burning up for Shika baby.

Temari: * Death glare, lunges at Rin*

- At the Market-

Ino: I paid you with a $100 so my change is…..* Counts using fingers*

Market Vendor: Try $3?

Ino: Let me just check that * Pulls out calculator*

MV: * Sweat drop*

Ino: So let's see…carry that one there…wait…no…that's not it…hmmm…I don't get it!

MV: * Grabs calculator from Ino* This is how it's done… 100 minus 97 equals three dollars * smiles at Ino* There you go.

Ino: Thank you! * skips away happily*

Rin: Temari, it's done like this, to out a fire, you use WATER * Pours _something_ on fire*

Rin: Aaah! Temari, what did you do, you made the fire bigger. AGAIN!

Everyone: {…….}

Sakura: You idiot, that's not water, it's SAKE!

Rin: So, I just used what I was holding!

Ino: * Reaches host club* I'm home! * Knocks, door falls down* * Sees room and thinks, "Why is it black? I don't remember us having the host club repainted?" A Smokey scent lingers in the air. " Wow… I guess I must be in the wrong place…hmmm…where's that map Yoruichi gave me?

!

Ino: What's going on here, do you know how much money this'll cause to fix?! So, which one of you'll be working overtime * Glares at them (Eyes of the pig, the scarrrryyy pig)*

Rin and Temari: She did it * point at each other*

Rin: Come on Temari, we have witnesses, right guys * Puppy dog eyes*

Sakura: Actually, according to the Sake bottle * Points to label that reads, "Rin's Sake."* The blame points at you.

Rin: * Gasp* Hana framed me! If it was me, I'd written my whole name.

Hana: Actually, your sharpie marker ran out, yeah I was there when you wrote it.

Ino: * Open her eyes wide* Sake, why were you holding SAKE?

Rin: Oh, I was just holding it for a friend * smiles*

Hana: We all know Rin has one friend, herself.

Ino: So, are you ready to hear your punishment? * Evil grin*

Rin: * Innocent eyes, halo* Punishment? What for?

Ino: I can see the horns holding up that halo. Anyways, back to your punishment. * Drum roll*

Rin: Hana, this is bad enough already. So can you PLEEEZ stop that annoying sound.

Hana: * Stops drum roll*

Ino: * Rolls eyes* People! Punishment! Rin, you aren't allowed to see Shikamaru for a month!

Rin: * Pouts* but there's still work!

Ino: Under ANY circumstances.

Temari: * Happy dance*

Rin: * Grabs her by her collar* Let's just wait and see what punishment YOU get.

Sakura: Um actually Rin, that was your fault too!

Rin: What?!

Sakura: Yeah, you did and I quote, "Aaah I blew up the tv!" * High pitched squeaky voice*

Rin: I DO NOT SOUND LIKE THAT! I said it like this, "Aaah I blew up the tv!"

Ino: So, you admit it.

Rin: Uh oh * hides behind Hana* * points at her and whispers, "She did it, I was framed."*

Ino: Yeah you're always framed, moving on, your punishment for this will be…hmmm lemme think of something good * DING!* Oh, I know, you will become the host club's slave until you can pay off your debt!

Rin: * Becomes pale. Sulks in a corner- Tamaki style; P *

Hana: * Points at Ro* Baka! Your hair's on fire!

Rin: * Doesn't realize it's her* "Ha ha, what idiot got their hair caught on fire?"

Everyone: * Points at Rin* "That idiot"

Rin: Whaaat?!?! * Opens eyes wide* Hana put it out!

Sakura: * Hands her a bottle of Sake*

Rin: No, water, agua, mizu, l'eu!

Ino: Actually someone replaced all our water with Sake. Hmmm I wonder who did that? * Walks off*

Rin: * Screaming* Hana, help me!!

-END-


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